Let the Bodies Hit the Floor…100s

I think Drowning Pool may have said it best for today’s Killers class:

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

Beaten, why for (why for)
Can’t take much more
Here we go here we go here we go, now

One, nothing wrong with me (actually there is something wrong with me for getting up at 4:00am…er 5:00am)……….

BEST CLASS EVER! (that was for you, Scott)

The structure of the class was designed around doing a series of 2-3 exercises (reps varied) one immediately following the other and then you rinse and repeat the entire circuit as many times in 100 seconds.  So you bust your ass as quickly as possible to get through the first round (so as to not be completely embarrassed by the national avg) only to find out that you have the “opportunity” to have a “second chance” and try to beat your score from the first round.  HA!  Yeah right.  I was usually still seeing stars when the second round started.  I am sometimes fortunate to have a negative split when running….but it was made very apparent that doesn’t apply to this style of Killer 100s.

Everyone, and I mean everyone was drowning today.   While walking out to our cars, Barri and I bore witness to all the casualties.  Scott was leaning against his trunk holding on for dear life.  Pat was tebowing next to the car just trying not to projectile.  Jeff walked out and just laid down on the cement patio assuming the corpse pose.  We all just gave up.  No one possessed the energy, or frankly, a sane state of mind, to drive home.

I have never been so wrecked coming out of wreckfast club.  I went home and went back to bed for an hour!!!!

If you haven’t tried Beehive Fitness yet, I am not sure what you are waiting for!

Until Next Tuesday…..

Extremely Long and Incredibly Painful…100s

(let the TWSS jokes commence)

Several titles ran through my head for today’s class, but this one came to me much later and seemed appropriate.  I think Bryer would agree seeing how she literally asked us not to cry as we went into the final round of ab exercises at the end.  Wow.  Today’s class was off the charts.  I feel like I repeat myself every Tuesday (did you just chuckle and agree with me??), but today seemed like a step above the norm.   The clock normally flies by in Killers, but today it was in reverse….I wore a watch; mistake numero uno.

Noteworthy moments of today’s class:

1) Scott announced to everyone that he doesn’t like to bend over.  (hehe – I’m 12.)

2) Pat came very close to naming the class today with his completely serious question to Barri:   “Why does she hate us?”  (for the record, I didn’t put it into the same line in the blog as comment 1 as requested, Pat.)

3) One of my favorite moments was glancing over at Andy, who was literally gazing up at the ceiling ( no doubt saying a silent prayer to make it through those killer side plank dips) eyes glassing over.  He was definitely heading towards the light before Bryer snapped him back to reality.

4) I laughed out loud when she queued up 100 seconds of bicycles and Pat announced that his bike has a flat!  (Pat was on fire today.)

Today the biceps, triceps and core were annihilated.  Not much was said after class; in fact everyone was very quite and had the same exact look on their face.  Perhaps their minds were still stuck in that dark place the side plank hold followed with hip dips put us into.  I know I’m not going to be able to move my arms tomorrow.  Boxing sans arms…ha!

Final noteworthy flub moment brought to you by Pat (again):  After the grueling side plank holds, we thought we surely must be done with planking….um…no.  Bryer instructed us to get into a center plank (I know everyone let out a silent scream in their head at this point.)  Pat managed to move center, but his “plank” fell a tad short…lying face first on the floor.  Barri corrected him: “plank, not pancake, Pat”.  We later learned he was on to something; today is “IHOP National Pancake Day”.   Do not go anywhere NEAR that place.

Final side note:  if you are a book worm, be sure to grab Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.  Do not get the electronic version; I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but you need to stick to old skool and buy the hard copy.  It is a must read; it will be a modern day classic.  Movie was good too, but you’ll want to read the book first.

See U Next Tuesday….

Phat Tuesday…100s

As if I need a holiday to remind me about the scale’s recent Everest climb…so I’ve decided we are phat with a ph.  That means we’re hip and cool right?  As I stood in front of the mirror this morning at 5am willing the coffee to kick-in, I realized that Bryer would no doubt be fired up with a bunch of new tricks she learned last week at her conference.  My stomach did a flip-flop, but then I realized that this is par for the course on Tuesdays; get on with it.  And as I predicted, we were the fortunate few for Bryer to test drive her newly acquired skillz on.  The class was a blur and the hour flew by.  The normal exercise move that we do in a second’s time is broken down and dissected over a course of 5 minutes.  Wait, what?  I personally thought I knew burpees, but now I realized that we’ve been together for awhile now and I really didn’t know a burpee at all (sounds like some former relationships…lol!)  It is rumored that there are schedule changes coming that will no doubt reflect today’s preview, so get ready, Hive!

Phat Tuesday indicates we are supposed to give up something until Easter right? (I’m such a good Catholic.)  Let’s see….beer (no can do; it’s part of my identity now)…..burpees (yeah right – it’s still hot out; hell has not frozen over)…..mountain climbers (would be lovely, but I don’t think I can get Bryer on board)…..fine – chocolate.  I just put it in writing.  No chocolate for 40 days.   I apologize in advance.

See You Next Tuesday!

Where’s the Love…100s

….Certainly love was not in the construction room this morning.  We even tried to find the love in the parking garage.  It wasn’t there either.  Today’s workout felt like a Shot Through the Heart (somewhere some little cupid bastard is to blame).  My pesky arrhythmia acted out today despite my plea to Be Still My Beating Heart.   But alas, Love Bites…(I hear it also bleeds) so I had to take a break here and there to pull myself together.  That didn’t phase Bryer.  She just looked at my pathetic chest press and said your not pressing High Enough.  Barri, always a good friend, said don’t worry….I’ve Got You Babe…you’re still my Hero.  I told Barri she was still the Wind Beneath my Wings.

Scott made it back to class this week.  It was touch and go there for a bit, but eventually he realized he Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore and said a silent prayer to Send Me an Angell…er Angel…damn…my last name gets me every time.

In an effort to make it through what seemed like 200 burpees, I kept telling myself that Everything I Do, I Do It For You and hoped that if I repeated that I’ve Had the Time of My Life over and over I would eventually believe it.  No such luck…sigh…this is what I get for my Tainted Love that I have for those damn Hershey kisses.   Is This Love that I’m feeling?  No, the stupid chocolate covered strawberries will NOT love you back.  I brought the evil little chocolates into work this morning and as I set them on the kitchen table, I declared that I’m All out of Love for you.  They stared up at me and I swear I heard them say Pour Some Sugar on Me….(ok maybe that was a stretch).

Each week the wreckfast club continues to get wrecked on Tuesday mornings.  Oh Killer 100s ………….I Will Always Love You.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

FML…100′s

I’ve been saving this title for a rainy day….and well, it’s raining.  For those who missed today’s class [cough cough chicken proxy & super bowl attendee], you really missed out.  Bryer did the entire class with the use of a resistance band….yeah…let that sink in for a minute.  But, I’m getting ahead of myself….I must discuss the initial hurdle of the day:  the door.   For whatever reason I had a hard time opening the door.  It felt like it weighed a ton…to the point I thought it was locked.  No.  I’m just a bit challenged today.  At least I wasn’t alone…[cough cough Sherna and at least two others]…in feeling locked out from everyone else.   From that moment, the door became the benchmark for level of difficulty throughout the class.  This is not a good sign.

Ok, I digress…that band is so deceiving.  No one has a clue which color is easier than others (and don’t think I’m about to spoil that for you Wed morning class).  You pick it up hoping for the best, walk to your spot, and “test” it out.  Barri was gracious enough to ask if mine was “more or less difficult than door” [bitch].  But yes, my band felt easier than opening the door. ..for the first 25 reps at least.  Ask me on bicep rep 72 and you’ll get a much different response.

The warm-up concluded with  100 starbursts.  In the infamous words of Lynthia, “Wait….What?”  I’m thinking to myself that I may actually vomit today as Karen Carpenter ‘s “We’ve Only Just Begun” echos in my head.  Toomey pleads out loud what the rest of us were thinking: “we’re warm…please make it stop!”

The resistance band workout was so hard I actually paid very close attn (at least closer than normal) to counting.  God forbid Bryer adds an extra 10 onto the set accidentally….not on my watch.

It’s approximately 4 hours later and the soreness is already setting in.  It’s a good thing I sit on my gluteus maximus all day long because if I was required to stand at work, I’d have to call in sore.  I might be able to throw a punch tomorrow in boxing but don’t expect me to have to walk to do it.  If you thought last week left a mark, this week leaves a scar.  Well done, Bryer.

Until Next Tuesday…..

Only 70 Left…100s

And she said that with such conviction as if it were good news…as if there was hope…light near the end of the tunnel…as if we were *almost* done.  I’m no mathematician, but I do know that 70 is no where close to 1 when we are lunging and pressing with a kettle bell.  [danger: watch for falling kettle bells if you are going to throw out comments such as this.]

Today’s class started with Pat arriving and staring at Barri and I with a complete shit eating grin on his face.  His eyes were begging us to ask why he was so jovial this morning.  Ok, I’ll take the bait…”what gives, Pat?”  ”[Someone who shall remain nameless] has the CHICKEN POX!!!!”  Sang like a canary.  We laughed openly until we realized that lucky bastard has the chicken pox and is home in bed.  Why couldn’t I have gotten the chicken pox?  And Barri, you are correct, it is the shingles when you are an adult….I wikipedia’d it.  We had a great laugh at your expense but we also realized that you woke up this morning smiling because you had a circumstance out of your control that allowed you a free pass to miss Killers.  Lucky SOB.  Enjoy that oatmeal bath.

Nothing good can come from a class designed around a single kettle bell.  I’m always terrified that I will be THAT person who loses her grip on the kettle bell sending it into the mirror and giving myself 7 million years of bad luck and Bryer a big headache.  I stress about this.  Every time.  I have 6 different sets of lifting gloves on me at all times just in case she pulls out the kettle bell;  I do not want to chance being without.  Good thing Jarvis was not in the front row today.  He dropped the ball; literally.  At least it was on the downward swing and not out….Abby agrees…she was right in front of him.  Good luck, Wed morning class.  You will hit Pat’s proverbial wall, and it will leave a mark.

See U Next Tuesday…..

 

This is a going to be a long….100s

(TWSS)…sorry couldn’t help it.

Today started out on the right foot when I beat the alarm by 8 full minutes (why am I proud of myself for getting up at 4:52am??)…..but the pendulum was quick to swing the other direction when I spilled half of my coffee on me while climbing into the car.  An omen?  Oh well, at least my car now smells like Foldgers (just kidding who drinks that crap)….instead of a gym locker.  Upon arriving at the Hive it was very apparent XTC was over.  Jarvis, Lynthia, Kathy and Toomey all graced us with their presence today…but where oh where was the Sir??? (probably curled up hugging a VHS copy of Top Gun.)

Just like last week, we were treated to a Tabata style of Killer 100s but on Bryer’s watch instead of the Tabata app.  This is good and bad.  Good because you don’t have to hear that god forsaken troll scream “WORK!” at you in that evil mechanical tone of voice every 100 seconds.  Bad because we all know Bryer and her “concept” of time.  100 seconds could actually turn out to be a full 3 minutes….with any luck you aren’t stuck doing the clap push-ups during one of those burns.  There were lots of threats of tears, actual tears, S-bombs, F-bombs, etc.  this morning.  Several “come to jesus” moments where you knew this was going to be a long 100 seconds as she demo’d the next round of beatings.  A few that come to mind:

1)  The Gymnastics Parallel Bars:   this was the objective but supported btwn two steps:

The reality…not so much.  Palermo quickly adapted by resting his feet on the steps in front…and well…we must all evolve to survive, so the herd quickly followed the leader.  I don’t think Bryer was impressed.

 

 

 

 

2) The Russian Dance:  this was the objective using the assist of TRX:

As Barri and I were waiting our turn for this leg, we couldn’t help but make fun of Scott attempting this maneuver.  He was ever so daintily hopping from one leg to another that made us and several others laugh right out loud.  But as we can all guess, the joke was on us when our turn came around.  At one point, Barri and I tried to recall how Scott was doing it because surely it had to feel better than the correct way.

 

 

 

and last but not least:

3) Ab leg raises….swinging side to side over your step without running into your neighbor for 100 please.  It took forever to get to 20 nevermind 100.  As predicted, the wheels fell off everyone around count 63 or so and that concluded the class before we could embarrass ourselves any further.

Oh – tip for you ING’ers!  Also on the menu today was 100 seconds of calf raises.  You may want to “modify” this one if you plan on using your calfs to get you through any of those 13.1 miles…good luck!

Until Next Tuesday…..

I Read About This….100s

……not this week!  Everyone needs a bit of mystery sometimes.  Good luck Wed class…..muwahaha!

The Devil You Know…100s

The nervous anticipation that I wake up with every Tuesday morning (which I’ve learned to accept as normalcy) got an extra early start last night when I received a text from Barri as I sat down to dinner…”Did you see Bryer’s post?”  Crap.  ”No….looking.”  Double Crap….there goes my appetite (which according to the scale I could use a few more of those zingers).  Bryer made it clear that we were in store for some serious “fun” in the morning.  Donato actually wished me “good luck in Killers tomorrow” before I drifted off to sleep.  Seriously?  This is what it’s come to?

We almost titled today’s blog “Slightly Higher…100s”.  Everyone reading this that attended class today knows exactly what that means.  We did 5 rounds of 10 push-ups…doesn’t sound too bad right?  Except each push-up began on the ground..pause…slightly higher….pause…slightly higher…pause…now complete the push-up.  Rinse and repeat 10 times for 5 rounds.  I know I know – that’s only 50 – trust me she threw in 50 other counts of something I can’t even recall at this point to try to take our minds off the push-ups.  Some of us were told “slightly lower” (that would be yours truly).  I couldn’t help it…the body wants what it wants and it wanted a plank at that moment.  Some of us were told “slightly higher” – as in “get the girls off the ground” [cough cough Barri].  Now what ultimately took the blog title away from “Slightly Higher…” was a negotiation strategy Bryer threw in at the start of the 5th round.  We could do a final round of the “slightly higher push-ups” or we could do 10 counts of “something else”.  I didn’t realize we signed up for the Price is Right.  I wanted what was behind Door #2, but majority rules and this majority went with the devil they knew.  10 more “slightly higher push-ups” it was.  This particular sequence was worthy of 5 minutes of discussion post class in the safety of the parking lot.  Pat was clearly in a state of shock (hopefully Scott drove).  Scott could only focus on recalling Bryer’s timing of “slightly higher” sometimes taking an exponentially longer time if she engaged in conversation with someone….we’ve all had one of those moments.

Another point worth mentioning….if you take too long to do something, she may just reduce the count to save herself from boredom .  100 plyo/mountain climbers quickly become 25 when we failed to execute them as quickly and gracefully as anticipated.  Thank god because we all know how I feel about mountain climbers.  I need to stop putting down my nemeses in writing.   Or declare that I can’t stand “stretching” and “resting” and “water breaks”.

One final note….as I type this I recall Donato asking me last night how I was feeling post TRI – “are you sore?”.  ”I’m always sore – I’ve been sore for 2.5 yrs now.  I don’t remember what it’s like to not be sore.”  Thank goodness for sore and for Bryer.

Until Next Tuesday….

Cold Front, Cold Hearted Bee…..100s

What the WTF was that?  It’s freezing outside (ok, if you live north, don’t shoot me…my blood has thinned!) and we were all hoping Bryer was kidding when she told us to move on outside.  No such luck.  Our warm up:  100 suicides in the taco joint parking lot.  No joke.  As we mentally prepped for what was about to happen, Jarvis was kind enough to offer a supporting hug….might be the last hug I ever get as rumor has it he’s retiring from Tuesday Wreckfast Killers after today…who can blame him.  We were all “suicidal” around the 62nd leg.  Marina was the only one who voiced what everyone else was thinking:  is it safer to be in the street and risk the iconic “death by bus” or in the trenches dodging bodies as we run back and forth hoping the madness stops when Katie reaches 100.  It did, so thank you for taking one for the team, K!  And frogger jumps can go take a leap.  That has to be the most wretched exercise ever concocted.  I’d rather do mountain climbers.  Don’t ask me why, but mountain climbers are my nemesis.

Killer 100s was my first workout of 2012 and let’s just hope it’s not setting the tone for the remainder of the year.  15 lbs felt like 25.  Push-ups felt foreign to me.  It was futile to keep up with the herd.   Today was just hard all around.  But, it’s over and hopefully I do not drown in the pool tonight.  Getting hit by a bus would’ve saved me some misery……